i would say cut it down a lot maybe take a minute or more out. this is way too long. i’m into where it is going, but it could be punchier. i know you are trying to do it without cutting, but you might have to sacrifice that. I could tell you what to cut but try to do it yourself—what is important for continuity of the idea and what is the funniest.
April 29th, 2009 - 10:59 pm
i would say cut it down a lot maybe take a minute or more out. this is way too long. i’m into where it is going, but it could be punchier. i know you are trying to do it without cutting, but you might have to sacrifice that. I could tell you what to cut but try to do it yourself—what is important for continuity of the idea and what is the funniest.